1. Despite all the marketing & campaign on whitening cosmetics in Asia, I'm very proud of the color of my skin! Not too dark, and not too light, just a nice moccha-colored skin.
2. I'm totally egalitarian person, I hate being no. 2 caste in the society.
3. I love the smell of rain in the afternoon, springing from the wet land. Ah....heaven
4. I sleep like a baby. When I sleep, I cannot even feel the earthquake! But when I'm in love, I get insomnia
5. Grandma is my hero. She has such strong influence in my upbringing. Oh Grandma how I miss you ...
6. I adore Bono, for his sexy voice, influence in music industry and total commitment to struggle for Human Rights. That's totally sexy!
7. Enjoy reading Pramoedya Ananta Toer's books. It tells the deepest pain of our nation and the very essence of universal humankind at the same time
8. I am addicted to yoga & meditation. NOTHING can replace the "seretonin storm" you experience after!!!

I've just found out how precious the work of the late Indonesian writer Pramoedya Ananta Toer is. He was a candidate to receive Nobel in the literature category several times, unfortunately he didn't make it to get the Nobel Prize. But still, I admire this man a lot! His works are precious Indonesian contribution for the world, especially for humankind.

Life has been unkind to him. He had to face poverty, unhappy childhood back in Blora, Central Java. As a teenager, he did not attend high school, he did not get enough opportunity for school. But grew up as a very critical mind, courageous. He stands firm to defend the nation's poor, the peasants of Java by his critical writings.

The New Order regime (during Suharto's presidency, 1967 - 1997) banned all his

writings. He had accused as Communists (for his dislike of Capitalism probably), and sent him to jail, WITHOUT trial, for 14 years. His most famous, legendary writings are the Tetralogy (also known as The Buru Serie) of Bumi Manusia - This Earth of Mankind, Anak Semua Bangsa - Child of All Nations, Jejak Langkah - Footsteps, and Rumah Kaca - House of Glass. He produced this masterpiece in jail of Buru Island, that's why people also called these the Buru Quartet. Looks like the bars of jail did not decrease his guts, his fighting against injustice, did not prevent him from writing! What an energy!

My first fave book of Pram is Anak Semua Bangsa, or Child of All Nations. In this second book of the Buru Quartet, he showed the reader so much about the evil power, the Colonial Dutch-Indies (Hindia Belanda, now Indonesia), who tightened its grip on our homeland by not only power, but also the "evil protozoa", the CAPITAL! The colonial power had built lots of factories in Indies (now Indonesia), especially Java, to fund their Kingdom.   They've done this by exploitating local farmer (the Javanese farmer). The setting of the story was in East Java - a place where I spent my 4,5 years in college. So the places are very close to my heart, my imagination. The most common commodity in East Java was sugar cane. The colonial power had large factories in Sidoarjo area, the Tulangan village. The had developed the factory by forcing local landowner to an injustice deal. They rented farmer's land in an extremely low price, with the help of a local authority, the Regent and Chief Villages - the "local Royal group" (known as The Priyayi). Local people, who mostly farmers, didn't have any power to fight this. Their lack of education is one of the main factors why they cannot strike back. The only language they know, they can do, was physical, or traditional weapons. They only get used to physical language to fight.   In this case, they needed back up from the well-educated Indies (Indonesian) to initiate the systematic, grand strategy to strike-back.

By that time, most of the well-educated people of Indies are from the Royal family, the Ruling group (The Priyayi), who mostly has good, close relationship with the Colonial Power. Their "comfortable" position in the community, with lots of facilities, had prevented them from knowing so many insights about the real condition of their own people, their own nation. Here in this book, Pram's main character in the story's Minke – son of a Regent in East Java, a well-educated journalist who didn't even write in Malayan language, his own mother tongue. The story's mainly about Minke's dillema, about his obsession of being a great journalist who wrote in Dutch and English, in a newspaper that very pro-colonial vs his passion to know more about his own people, his own nation, and helps the poor to strike-back for their rights. His writings have so much influenced by the ideas of humanity of his idol, his Guru, Multatuli a.k.a. Edward Douwes Dekker ( a real character ; famous humanist and writer of Dutch descendants, who concerned about the fate of the poor Javanese people. His masterpiece's a book titled"Max Havelaar"). Minke's surrounding, his French best friend, Jean Marais, had gave him so much ideas about the spirit of the France Revolution the principles of Liberty, Fraternity, Egaliter , that help him understand the very core problem faced by his nation. Japan's victory in Manchuria, marking Asian's victory against Europe and the status of the Japanese nation that's now equal with European nation, and also Philipine's people struggle against the colonial Spain under Dr. Jose Rizal, also opened his eyes of the new possibilities, a brighter future for his own nation.   That it's about time to rise against the colonial evil. He realized that in finding the spirit to fight for freedom of his nation, he had learned from his friends of all nations. Then he too realize that in order to make inter-nations friendship, he must learn to know a lot about his own nation.

I believe this masterpiece historical novel, is a "must read" book, especially to young Indonesians. We must learn from history. Never to let any "new form of colonial power" got its grip on us, and let me tell you this is very POSSIBLE, even already slowly but sure, happen in this beloved country. There's a saying : "One who does not learn from history are condemn to repeat it". Of course we don't want that!

What is very sad for me is that all of Pram's awards is received from outside Indonesia. He received Ramon Magsaysay Awards from Philipines, Freedom to Write Award from PEN of USA, Mandanjeet Singh Prize from UNESCO, and many more…None from the Indonesian authority or institutions! Well, I don't know why… I believe that a great nation is a nation who knows how to respect its great writers, for their contributions to inspire people, to tell the world a great story of their nations, right?

Although I'm sure Pram wouldn't mind any respect at all. He had the great times of his life. And his spirit will forever be rooted in the hearts of Indonesian people, especially the young ones.

I will move to another company starting 6 November 2006. This would mark a new starting point of my carrier. I've been working for the current company for 3,5 years now, the same position, Administration Officer. In my 3rd year, I started to feel bored. I need bigger challenge, I'm ready for a bigger responsibility, that is the company could not provide me : Self Development! The 3,5 years working in this company has been such a great experience. I love the team work, the people. A very comfortable working environment. Me and my boss has always been best friends. A fact that most people could not believe, how can your boss be your best friend at the same time??? Well, she is! She had always been very supportive, always ready to share her experience and knowledge. Gosh, I'm gonna miss her a lot!

So next, I will be working for a media/publishing company, a place of my dream. I've always wanted to work for media. My interest in reading and writing has drawn my attention in this field. I wish to develop my writing ability in this new environment. Although my post is not exactly reporter or journalist, at least (hopefully) this will open the new opportunity for me to write more.

Well now, I've started to tell clients, partners, suppliers, and of course co-workers about my resignation. Most of the response is they're surprise! Why are you moving? You have such a nice people in the office, the business's fine too, etc, etc....
I have the best time of my life here in this company, I enjoy all the comfort, but...it's time to spread my wing. 3,5 years in the same post is enough, I need a change. I'm now ready for a bigger challenge, a bigger responsibility. At the place of my dream, the Media/Publishing field of work. What can I say? They would never understand...

Sometimes I think : Am I not grateful enough?

Happy reading!

***

“Bali is Beautiful,” Beautiful with big “B”, capital “B”..... Yes, Bali is indeed Beautiful. I believe in it not because people say so, but because I have always felt the beauty. I love Bali. And, I can never differentiate between love and beauty. They are synonym.

But, when I passed by the monument that stands on what they call “Ground Zero” – suddenly the feelings of love and beauty in my heart gave away to hatred and ugliness. What came to my mind at the time were faces of those criminals generally identified as terrorists, those criminals who tried to destroy Indonesia by bombing Bali. I was, as if, watching again all those footages that I saw on television screen years back.

And, the feelings of love and beauty were instantly replaced by those of remorse. Sudden sadness enveloped me, enveloped my total being.

I wonder now, if my experience was mine own….. I truly hope so, I hope the experience is mine own, and no-one else feels the same way. For the first time in my life, I hope and pray that others are not sensitive enough. Not as sensitive as me, at least.

The question is - what if I am wrong?
What if others are as sensitive as me? What is they are more sensitive than me? What about those people whose kith and kin, whose family members died in the incidents? Will they return to Bali? Will they ever come to Bali for holidays?

Yes, perhaps they will return.
Perhaps they come back to Bali, albeit not for holidays. They come back to pay respect to their loved ones. They come back to refresh their memories about the bombings in Bali.

                                       
The monument at Ground Zero in Kuta Bali, is indeed no ordinary monument. It can draw you back in time to 2002 when Bali was bombed for the first time. And, then to 2005 when it was bombed for the second time. It is kind of time tunnel. A Tunnel that leads you back to only one time – the time of death, of destruction, of crime and death, the time of sadness grief and hopelessness.

So, I try to take another tunnel, that at Peace Monument in New Delhi India – where the ashes of Mahatma Gandhi are preserved for eternity. What do I feel there? I felt my spirit uplifted. I do not quite see eye to eye with The Great Soul. I do not quite agree with the Mahatma on all the issues – but yet, in spite of that, the monument has always been an inspiration to me.

Both, the Bali monument as well the monument at Rajghat New Delhi, are somehow connected with death. The victims of Bali bombings were killed by a bunch of fanatics, Gandhi was killed by a fanatic too. But again, in spite of all those similarities – Kuta is Kuta and Rajghat is Rajghat. The vibes at Rajghat are very uplifting….. Mahatma’s belief in Truth and Non-Violence can be felt in the air. Whereas the vibes at Kuta’s Ground Zero drain our souls. The air is so heavy with man’s helplessness and sense of insecurity.

Last time when I passed by the monument, just a week ago, I thought the situation must be changed. Bali can change it. Whatever dirt has been thrown on its beautiful face – Bali is still Beautiful with capital “B”, with big “B”. It still has enough beauty to clean its face. It still has enough love to drown all hatred and ill feelings towards those criminals who tried to destroy Bali.

What do we do?
What can be done?

First, the image of Ground Zero must be changed completely. So, I suggested to our friends there to conduct prayer meeting every week. A weekly prayer meeting conducted at that very point, Ground Zero. Let people of different faiths pray in their own languages and according to their beliefs, their religions. And, then the meeting is closed with some uplifting songs - songs of love, peace, harmony and friendship amongst nations - songs that celebrate pluralism and multiculturalism, and finally lead us beyond all kind of isms.

The vibes at Ground Zero must be changed….. They must be transformed from draining to uplifting. The monument there must be known and recognized as Monument for Peace. The Ground Zero must be renamed as Ground for Peace, Ground for Love, for Harmony.

Secondly, stop calling those criminals terrorists. Stop them from terrorizing you mentally. Erase their identity as such from your mind. They are not terrorists. They cannot terrorize us. Call them criminals. They are just street criminals. And, they belong to no religion. A criminal has gone against the very teaching of religion by committing such heinous acts of crime. Those who support and defend them are equally criminals. They too, belong to no religion. They cannot claim to be defendant of religion. They cannot defend any religion by killing people, innocent or otherwise. Capital punishment is state’s prerogative, not theirs.

Third, Bali must preserve its cultural identity. That is Bali’s charm. That is Bali’s wealth. Let not a presidential visit by a middle easterner force you to drop your kabaya in favor of another type of dress. A guest is honored, yes…. And Bali knows very well how to honor a guest. But, it does not mean that Bali should make unnecessary compromises that may kill its very identity.

Fourth, the high cost economy and living that is forcing Balinese to sell their lands – must be stopped. While preserving its culture, Bali must also learn to simplify ceremonies and rituals that is costing more than what they can presently earn. Many of the new landowners in Bali do not at all appreciate Balinese culture. They are there just to make quick money. Unfortunately however, they also bring with them, their own belief-systems that are not in line with Balinese Culture – Culture that has its roots deep in history of the archipelago - Culture that goes back to thousands of years before the birth of Christ.

Fifth – something that must be done by the local authorities. They must be one hundred percent pro-people. It is only when you are pro-people that you can be pro-nation. Nation is made of people, and State is the building that houses them. This inter-connection must be understood properly. But, for this the local authorities must not be confronted. No ugly and violent demonstration. They are our brothers, our sisters. They must be persuaded to see things as they are. We must learn to help our government function properly. We must also learn to do our part responsibly.

Bali must be saved…… rather, Bali must save itself. And, for that what is immediately required is awareness, awareness amongst Balinese. Bali must not only be aware of its place in the archipelago, but its role as the Last Resort of Indonesia’s Indigenous Culture - where culture is still alive and part of life.

Bali has not reacted criminally to the acts of crime – that is Bali. That is the culture of Bali. That is the true identity of Indonesia. We are peace loving, and therefore we do not allow anyone to destroy our peace. Criminals have never been part of our society, and we have to make sure that they will never ever be. We do not hate them, for they are sick. They need some rehabilitation, so we put them in the hospitals made for them. Our love is not an emotional upsurge. Our love is responsible love.

Bali, wake up…..
Wake up to the Glorious Future - that is your destiny…. Destiny that has been delayed, but can never be changed. Learn from your past mistakes, repeat them not and continue your journey towards Love, Light, Peace and Harmony.
***

*Anand Krishna likes to be known as humanist. He has authored more than 80 books on the subject.

Article courtesy of www.aumkar.org

Fellow members of Anand Ashram Yogyakarta - Semarang - Solo, held a mobile Post Traumatic and Stress-Relieving Program in the village of Bantul, Yogyakarta - which is suffering from earthquake last May 27th. They gave various therapies, such as Reiki healing, Stress Management therapy : Voice Culturing (catarsis), THERFA (Therapy to Relieve Tension and Anxiety), etc. They also asked people, especially children, to celebrate this gathering by singing along with The Torchbearers (youth of Anand Ashram)  joyfully and full of cheerfullness. This project's scheduled for 6 months, now it's been running for 3 months, and they can already see the difference!
People in Bantul's already started to work, they're slowly get over their trauma, and be energetic, full of new spirit to build their home.
These pics were taken during Guruji Anand Krishna's visit to Bantul Village, last July 06.
Together we stand to make Yogya smiles again!

Our present, modern, "Christ" calendar is based on the Solar System.

Since it is a mixture, Balinese Caka calendar sometimes has its long year (13 Lunar months), and short year (12 Lunar months).

A person's birthday according to the Balinese calendar is once in 210 days (there are 30 weeks, not divided in months, like "normal" calendar). So Balinese celebrate their Balinese birthday twice in a year.
So, wherever a Balinese decides to live, to wander, far from their homeland, they would always carry this calendar with them. Our holidays and birthdays listed in it.
An American friend who has a Balinese boyfriend once said to me that when she asked him to visit her home in US, one thing that her boyfriend's mother remind him is "Don't forget to bring your calendar".
So true! It's somehow a part of our identity ;)

***

                    

This morning I found out the power of intuition in our action.

The first job to do this morning was to find nearest ATM, withdrew some cash for office's expenses. There are some ATM on my way to the office.

There's 4 options of ATM's on the way from home to the office. First, I thought I will withdraw the cash on the 1st ATM I found, cuz I thought what if the nearest ATM from the office (the 4th ATM-stop) is out of service. I would have no where to run then, since it would've been my last hope.

But again I thought, it's harder for me when you've just started to walk, then you have to stop. So, it's a lot easier to stop at the 4th ATM than the 1st, 2nd, 3rd.

Ok then, I made up my mind, to stop at the 4th ATM.

As I walk in, I was welcomed by the warning on the ATM screen "We are sorry, this machine's temporarily out of service. Please find another nearby ATM".

It felt that I was struck by lightning, a de ja vu feeling come across my mind. And said to myself "Damn, I would never underestimate my intuition anymore!”

The price I have to pay for ignoring it is, I have to return to the 3rd ATM on my way home to the office :(

So, sometimes you have to just listen to your heart, and follow your intuition...

***

As an Eastern girl, eversince I was a child, I was told, educated to behave politely to anyone surround, especially elder people. Guess I have taken this far too seriously ;)

And my character, I was given a sensitive heart and great ear to listen, to pay attention to somebody else’s problem, anything they share to me. I just can’t be an ignorant person.

And sometimes the three character-building, politeness-sensitivity-good ear, killing me softly!

I seem to be so attentive to people, just to be polite. Though deep inside I “torture” myself, by listening. At first, truly, I can be a very good listener.  But then people will started to “use”  this, by frequently sharing all their problems, frequently, too much that I can handle. Then it started to give me the feeling of “Outside I look like a very good listener but something inside me said “Pleasssse….just leave me alone, will you?” . I hope you get what I mean, it’s so hard to explain how I feel. But…I’m way way too polite to say to them “Please, don’t be annoying and just leave me alone”

There are cases that showed how weak I am to response toward inconvenient things that happened to me. What I remember the most was an “sexual harassment” by an old man. I did not slap him in the face, even said bad words to him, just because he’s much much older than me, that it’s impolite to do so. And…I feel thrilled when an old friend of mine, slap a guy in the street when he flirted at us. I felt so liberated for what she did, as if she did it for on my behalf ;)

There’s case that just showed me, OK, no more Miss Polite. It’s about time to be straight-forward, to tell the truth, frankly. Cuz, someone just give me the knock in the head, by saying “You cannot play God. You cannot please everyone by what you said or done.” So, why bother?

“May my thoughts be one with my words, and my words be one with my thoughts – Oh…Lord of Love”

***